“Alright girls, let’s get going,” said Dad at the door.
They were driving to Gaithersburg for a game of miniature golf at the Funland Center. It would be the first time the fairy princess ever played miniature golf, and only Fiona’s fifth time. Fiona had described it as ‘a game where you take a club and hit a ball into the hole’ which puzzled Aerya. Back in the fairy world, she only thought of a club as something a troll used, generally to knock a fairy senseless.
Aerya had heard the word before. Fiona talked about joining a club, and there were cards that had clubs. Gardening clubs, civic clubs, even Club Scouts. It was an interesting world that made so much of a troll weapon. In miniature golf, she found yet another use for a club. Today, Aerya would find out for herself about the golf club. According to Fiona, they would each get one. Fiona said miniature golf was really fun. Clubbing a ball into a hole? That sounded like a lot of fun!
Fiona was out of the house first, with Aerya close behind her. They scampered over to their minivan called the Master Disaster (painted an off yellow color that Aerya commented was the same as “rotten mustard, thrown up by a dragon”.) Suddenly, Aerya turned, and ran back to the front door.
“Mr. Dad, can you please unlock the door for me?”
“Sure, Aerya. Do you have to go to the bathroom or something?”
Aerya didn’t say, she just ran back into the house, her straight, black hair flying around her shoulders. A moment later she reappeared, carrying a different purse.
“All set,” she said, smiling. She dashed over to where Fiona stood.
Just as Dad finished locking the front door, Aerya was back. Dad didn’t say a word, just unlocked the door, and waited. A minute later, Aerya was back, wearing a different shirt.
“Thank you, Mr. Dad!” she called, running to the Master Disaster where Fiona still stood. Dad locked the door, and waited. Sure enough, Aerya was back again.
“Mr. Dad, I just need to get inside for a moment . . .”
Eventually, Dad and Fiona got Aerya into the Master Disaster, and started the drive to Funland. The sky was bright blue, with a few clouds tossed like mashed potatoes by a giant baby's hand. It was autumn warm, coaxing the grass to grow just a little further, and causing the trees to reconsider throwing their leaves onto the ground. Birds flew as if on vacation, making the most of this pretty day. The thick bands of trees that edged the road with brown and green seemed perky, holding most of their leaves, still swollen with the rain from days earlier. Fiona imagined that in the forests, the deer practiced fighting with their antlers by attacking low branches, and charging one another. A chubby ground hog ran like a shopper racing for the last sale item. It was a beautiful day, and the whole world seemed to be filled with a playful spirit.
Aerya only exchanged her club twice, settling on a yellow handled club and a green ball. Dad showed them both how to hold the putter, to eye the path between the ball and the hole, and to test the swing before tapping the ball. While Aerya listened to Dad’s lesson, Fiona noticed that Aerya actually seemed to attack the ball when it was her turn. Aerya warmed up to putt by swinging the club in a wide, vicious circle, the way a Viking would swing a battle axe if attacked by a mob of angry trolls. If it were baseball instead of golf, Aerya would hit a home run every time at bat.
At the third hole at Funland, Aerya lost her ball in the water. The water was actually part of the Queen’s Castle, the seventh hole. If she hadn’t hit her ball so hard when facing the Gnome Home on the third hole, the ball would not have bounced off the gnome’s hat, hopped through Dino-Land, rocketed past the surprised people standing near 3 Pigs Place, hit the ogre in the nose in Giant’s Square at the sixth hole, and finally fallen into the water moat of Queen’s Castle, the seventh hole. The loss of the ball was all right, because Aerya liked golf better without the ball.
The three of them played much faster now since Aerya did not have to decide where to stand to launch her ball. Fiona ended up ahead of her Dad by 3 points. She teased him about this, and just to be sure he knew she won, she did the victory dance. This mainly consisted of Fiona slowly strutting, her arms held like an Egyptian painting, chanting “Eat it up, sucka - eat it up!” Aerya joined in, and the two girls victory danced until the next players asked if they would get out of the way.
Dad was still smiling when they returned their putters to the counter. Aerya held hers a few minutes longer before handing it over. Apparently, she thought it a good weapon. They climbed into the Master Disaster, and drove back to Frederick. As they passed the scenic overlook at the edge of the city, Dad called back to the girls.
“Would you like to have pizza tonight, or Chinese food?”
“I like both,” said Fiona.
“Pizza,” said Aeyra, “definitely, pizza.”
“Alright, then that’s what we’ll have.”
“Wait, Mr. Dad - let’s have Chinese food.”
“That sounds good too, Aerya. I think I could really enjoy some egg rolls -”
“Pizza. I think that sounds much, much better, now that I thought about it. Is that okay, Fiona?”
“I love pizza,” said Fiona.
“Pizza it is, girls. Mmmmm, I can hardly wait -”
“No,” said Aerya, “let’s have Chinese food. If you don’t mind, Fiona”
“I love Chinese food.”
“Chinese food, then, Mr. Dad.”
“Chopsticks and noodles with supper. I really love those -”
“No, not Chinese. How about Mexican?”
Fiona heard Dad sigh, and she noticed that he gripped the steering wheel a little harder as he smiled and tried to sound cheerful. It was another 15 minutes back and forth before Fiona ended Aerya’s indecision by saying she just had to have a sub sandwich. Aerya thought that sounded good, and Dad said it was decided, no more discussion or suggestions. Aerya started to say something, then she noticed a new loose stitch on the Huckleberry Baby in her lap.
The Huckleberry Baby had just one eye, 3 strands of yarn hair, and started life as Fiona’s first doll. In those early years, it was much loved, and Dad was surprised that it was still around. The Huckleberry Baby used to sit on a shelf, retired from active duty. For some reason, Aerya became a champion of the doll.
"Why does she sit on the shelf," asked Aerya, "when she was your first friend? We should do more for her than leave her on the shelf. We should take her out, let her enjoy the world! Surely, she has earned that much!"
Fiona had no argument, and so the Huckleberry Baby began an active social life, often going with the girls in the Master Disaster.
Aerya was like a nurse to the doll, checking it regularly for tears, or weak stitches. That day, when Aerya found the foot was loose, her butterfly mind bounced from dinner to tending the Huckleberry Baby. They wrapped a tissue tightly around the foot, and then tightened it at the leg with a hair band. That would keep the foot safe until they got home and could sew it properly. Fiona considered that while Aerya unmade as many decisions as she made, she was a true friend, even to an old doll.
They enjoyed their submarine sandwiches that night, and later, when lying in bed, Aerya told Fiona how much she loved miniature golf. Soon they were asleep, the two girls lightly snoring when Dad checked them before going to bed himself.
The next day was Monday, a school day. Aerya was in the bathroom bright and cheerful, her long black hair shining against her new, pink shirt with the sparkling stones. Fiona’s waist length hair was unusually stubborn as she brushed it. It was as if the hair kept grabbing the hair brush, pulling it from her hand. The water dripped in the sink, sounding like laughter. Each drop was a tiny “ha ha!” when the brush tangled.
Pull, snag, 'Ha ha!'
Pull, twist, 'Ha ha!'
Pull, slip, drop the brush on the floor, 'Ha ha!'
‘Shut up!’, thought Fiona, twisting the faucet closed. She wished someone would put a spell on her hair so that she never needed to brush it.
In spite of the hair problem, Fiona got ready, and they arrived at school on time. Their teacher was Mrs. Rohl-LaFayette, Ms. L for short. Ms. L was like so many elementary school teachers, cheery in the morning, saying hi to each child as they came in, excited to have another day of learning, and probably hiding a secret side. What was that secret, wondered Fiona at times when her mind drifted during school. Could she be from outer space, here to learn about people for a class project? Could Ms. L be some kind of animal who, disguised as a teacher, would one day tear off the costume and eat them all? Maybe there were really three Ms. L’s, each of them taking a turn teaching. That would explain why Ms. L lost so much homework; it was always turned in to a different version of the teacher.
Ms. L smiled brightly and as each child came into the classroom, asked about their weekend.
“Hello, Aerya! How lovely to see you! What did you do this weekend?”
“I got to use a club on a ball, in a great game called golf! Did you know that the club is a wonderful weapon? It is a fab tool to defeat an enemy.”
“Hi, Ms. L,” said Fiona, interrupting Aerya before she could talk about trolls. “My dad took us to play miniature golf. It was great!”
Before Aerya could return to clubs and enemies, Fiona distracted her.
“Aerya, can you come to my desk for a minute? I want to show you something.”
By then, other children were spilling into the room, and Ms. L was talking to them. While walking to her desk, Fiona considered that Ms. L’s smile was not quite as wide when she saw Fiona. ‘Oh great, it’s going to be one of those days’ thought Fiona.
Fiona was right - it was one of those days. She barely got seated at her desk and settled for the first class when Ms. L called on her.
“Fiona, would you please collect the geography homework from everyone?”
“Yes, Ms. L.”
Fiona tried not to scowl. She was planning to use the time spent collecting homework to read a note from Maggie. For now, the note - just bursting with interesting news - would have to wait. Fiona went from desk to desk, collecting the maps. As she saw other people’s homework, her heart sank. Fiona’s map, compared to the others, was terrible. Her map wasn’t in color, and it looked like Fiona hurried through the homework to go do something else. Which was true. Why, she wondered, did they have to do homework? Why couldn’t the teachers teach less, and that way, everyone would get finished at school. Fiona didn’t have an answer to this by the time she collected the last map. Luckily, her map was on the bottom of the pile. That way, she would not be present when Ms. L saw what a bad job she did.
Fiona brought the maps to Ms. L, who was opening the social studies book while taking the maps. Ms. L took the maps, and one fluttered to the floor.
“I’ll get it, Ms. L,” said Fiona, bending to collect it. ‘Oh phooey’, she thought, ‘it’s MY stupid map that fell on the floor!’
“Thank you, Fiona. Oh, this is your map . . . it’s not in color.”
“No, it’s not,” agreed Fiona.
“Fiona, the assignment was to mark the different regions in color. You really need to pay more attention to the homework requirements.”
“Alright, Ms. L, I will.” Fiona turned and walked back to her desk, wanting to die from embarrassment.
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